Monday, April 19, 2010

New Moon XXX


Oh, shit. There's a sex tape?

Where's that bitch-on-wheels publicist when I need her?

What's that? It's a legit porn film? Whew!


So last night I looked on my DVR to see if anything new had recorded. I don't know about the rest of you, but I have mine set to record anything with the key words Pattinson, Rob Pattinson, Robert Pattinson, Twilight, Twilight Saga, Kristen Stewart, Taylor Lautner, Peter Facinelli, Billy Burke, Jackson Rathbone, and Kellan Lutz. So I got excited when I saw that one of my key word categories had recorded something. I clicked to open the link and found this description:

This Isn't Twilight Saga: New Moon XXX
A sexy spoof of "The Twilight Saga: New Moon"
features a horny gal and other wild creatures

Of course, there was also a $ next to it because it was a pay-per-view item that expires in a couple of days. I don't know why this surprised me, but it did. I quickly deleted it because as supportive as my hubby has been about all of this, if he had found it first, I don't think he would have believed me when I said I had no idea it even existed.

So, like everything else, I Googled it and found this cover art and synopsis:


Devil's Film has been quick at getting its fangs into the Twilight franchise,
and will release its New Moon parody sequel in the new year (January 7, 2010),
with Chris Johnson again filling in for Robert Pattinson as Edward Cullen,
and Seth Gamble as a pornified version of Taylor Lautner in the role of Jacob Black.
The full-length feature film, directed by Sammy Slater, also stars Madison James,
Amy Brooke, Ruby Know, Ami Emerson, Jay Lasseter, and Alex Gonz.

On a side note, the image abbreviation is TITTSNMTXXXP-Front_Censored. How appropriate. However, I think Jacob's "titts" are bigger than Bella's in the promo pic. Just sayin'.

So if I read the synopsis correctly, there was a Twilight XXX, too. Who knew? And from that promo pic, I don't think Edward would fill the sheets shoes of any of our fanfic Edwards, either.

I'll leave you with that thought and a few more Twiobservations I had this weekend while listening to the radio on my trips back and forth to my son's baseball games.

Neil Diamond Cracklin’ Rosie

Cracklin' Rosie, get on board
We're gonna ride till there ain't no more to go
Taking it slow
Lord, don't you know
Have me a time with a poor man's lady
Hitchin' on a twilight train...

Stevie Wonder You Are The Sunshine Of My Life

You are the sunshine of my life
That's why I'll always be around,
You are the apple of my eye,
Forever you'll stay in my heart ...

Kenny Loggins Danger Zone
Songwriters: Loggins, Kenny; Moroder, Giorgio; Whitlock, Tom

Heading into twilight - spreading out her wings tonight...

 "Should we give them familiar and comforting?
Or educate their taste in music?"
[Alice, Eclipse, chapter 17: Alliance, page 366]

 
And this is just because I hope they're making beautiful music together ; )
 
 
  

18 comments:

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

Oh jesus Lisa...you had me all hot and bothered with thoughts of porn and laughing at jacob's big boobs and singing Neil Diamond and then you slam me with the damn last photo. LOLOL!!!
I call that being Robstenrolled.

Twired Jen said...

LMAO! @Mrs. P, I immediately thought of you when she ended on that BELLWARD pic! he he he.

You go girl! Seriously Lisa, I can't believe the cover of that "movie"...Too funny. Jake's lookin'a little pale these days.

My favorite part of this whole post was the captions for those pics of Rob. Classic!

xoxoJ

17foreverlisa said...

@Mrs. P - Robstenrolled...you know I hope they are rolling each other ;)

17foreverlisa said...

@Twired Jen - Thanks! And you just gotta love image searches on the internet. You can always find the perfect one(s) for any post.

twilightcupcake said...

I was wondering when this would come up. I have to admit I'm very tempted to watch it...

17foreverlisa said...

@TC - I don't know why I didn't think about it before it showed up on my guide list. I didn't click to see how much it cost to view it before deleting it, either. Maybe you should watch it for research purposes and then report back to us ;)

smartEpantz said...

Good Fuck Lady you are killing me!!! It's like watching a train wreck.
I can't look away...

Boobie Grabs.
:D
E

Dangrdafne said...

LOL This goes perfectly with my search last night.. I was on a general household goods website and I for fun put in new moon as a search item and the first thing to come up was the book "Porn for Women". HUH?? I am first not sure why the words new moon would lead to that and second why a household products website would be selling 1) a book and 2) a book about THAT! I laughed pretty darn hard.

I had two Twi-observations: One was at the play I went to on Sunday - 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee (awesome show) - and one of the words meaning was... Twilight! WOO HOO!

My other Twi-observation was at the baseball game on Saturday the lawyer's ad on the screen was Edward... last name doesn't matter LOL

Happy?? Monday!!

TongueTwied said...

Love the song lyrics and nice Alice quote slipped in to break up the Robsten.

not to judge a XXX movie by its cover, but shouldn't it have a more "creative" name? lol

TwitardedMom said...

You hadn't heard of This Isn't Twilight? The XXX take off on Twilight came out over a year ago. Maybe I should get both XXX films for Mr TM. Wonder if they would be better than what he has been buying from Adam&Eve?

Living with Edward said...

Oh my. All I have to say is oh my.

Honolulu Girl from Trueblood Twilight said...

Oh my freaking eyes. You tainted me with that "Mi Vida Loca" banner. I mean the New Moon XXX cover. Why do they insist on chosing the most ugliest people they can find. I mean, I understand the pickings are rare in the porn industry but the guy they chose for Jacob.. EWWWWW!!! I need a moment to myself. :)

mmMoxie said...

@Lisa - my only reaction to this post - GROSS!

@Mrs. P - Robstenrolled! LMAO!

17foreverlisa said...

@smartEpantz - Hopefully you are referring to the movie promo pic and not my Robsten pic ;) I see your Boobie Grab and raise you one Titty Twister. LOL!

@Dangrdafne - I'm laughing just thinking about you being on a website like that and trying to search with New Moon as the criteria. Hahaha! It helps knowing that we're not alone in our crazy Twiobservations, doesn't it?! A play...a baseball game...it's everywhere. LOL!

@TongueTwied - Thanks! And I got to thinking about the title being more creative and then I realized that it never would have shown up in my key word search without a direct link to the original title. Maybe that was their (d)evil plan all along.

@TwitardedMom - No, I sure hadn't. I was late to the party, you know :) You'll have to do a blog post if you do get them for Mr. TM and let us know how it went ;)

@Living with Edward - I was saying "Oh, shit! Oh, shit!" when I saw it come up on my guide list. I may have even dropped my remote in my haste to get it deleted. LOL!!!

@HG - At least they got someone really hot to play Edward. Um. Not so much. EWWWWWW is right! And I can't believe you mentioned the word taint in your comment and Mox didn't say anything about it. She must have really been grossed out. LMAO!

@Mox - I know. I know. I just couldn't let it go without commenting on it, though. I will replace it with something new soon. Promise!

Musing Bella said...

Is it wrong that I kinda want to watch it? I'd like to know if Bella's all twitchy - we could play a drinking game while we all watch... but I don't want to pay for it...

I love the song lyrics. TH started singing along with Tom Petty's Free Fallin' the other day while we were driving and he looked over at me and gave a little serenade to the "all the vampires living in the valley move west down Ventura Blvd." ... and then he started making up new vampire lyrics for it. It was sweet and funny.

Mama Cougar said...

OMFG Leeeeeeeeeesa, I would have to be completely WRECKED on Cherry Jello Shots to watch that porno. I'm not saying it's entirely out of the question, but serious pregaming would be necessary, because CHRIST, that Jacob is an ugly fuck. Not sure about the Edward, but if he has a big sparklepeen I could probably ignore his face.

God, I miss you.

So much.

Sniffle.

MC

Twired Jen said...

Ok so now I remember, it was YOU that did the Twilight Porn post..lol. Totally forgot about that.
xo J

Snarkier Than You said...

you should have watched it!! lmfao - ok you made the right choice...

: )

Sample text

Related Posts with Thumbnails

Pages

Powered by Blogger.

Ads 468x60px